In another article I had written on the importance of the man in the home. Men are very important to their family. Unfortunately, the man has dropped out of the home in our society. Equally important, though, is the woman in the home. Women hold a key position in the shaping of the next generation, and in the life of their husband. Just as men have disappeared from the landscape of the home, women have disappeared as well. While the industrial revolution, and other factors, contributed to the man becoming uninvolved in the family, there are factors that have contributed to the woman becoming second rate in the family. We will look at why women have become seemingly unimportant to the family, why women are so valuable to the success of the family, and how to help women get back to fulfilling their important role in the life of their husbands and children.
Why women have disappeared from the home
It has been common knowledge for some time that men are absent from the home. However, women are becoming absent from the home at an alarming rate. The good news is, however, that there is a trend toward women becoming intimately involved in the life of the family once again. But why did women check out of their role in the home?
1. Cost of Living
The high cost of living in modern society has put the family in the position where both adults must work full time jobs to survive. While many people do this purely to obtain a lot of possessions, many do so out of necessity. There is absolutely nothing wrong with women working a job outside of the home. In the Bible, the book of Proverbs mentions the woman of virtue working outside of her home. In the last chapter of Proverbs, she is pictured as working long hours to help her family with making money. The problem occurs when, after coming home from work, both parents do not put in an equal amount of energy into the home. Often, the woman is left with all the responsibilities with the children and household chores.
2. Need to be equal with the man
With the drive of many women to strive to be equal with men, many women have chosen to work to prove themselves. While this is a worthy goal, it can be accomplished in more meaningful ways. With this desire to work like men do, women have sacrificed the family in their pursuit. Do not take this as an attack upon women, because men in their pursuit of wealth have equally sacrificed their family to gain wealth.
3. Selfishness
While this does not describe most women, there are a few women who have disappeared from the home due to selfishness. They want what they want. They want to party instead of living a responsible life. They do not wish to be tied down to their family. This leaves the children without a mother, and the husband without a wife.
4. Lack of recognition
This is a vague title for this point. What I mean is that while women play an important role in the life of the family, many are not recognized for their efforts. Some have become so oppressed by their husbands that they give up. They do not see a reason to keep trying, because what they do is never enough.
The value of women to the family
Women play such an important part in the life of the family. Their value is beyond measure. No amount of money can adequately compensate a woman for her work. Words cannot express what women mean to the success of their husband and children. But women are valuable. They are not second rate. They are not inferior. They are not weak. Giving birth to children, putting up with the daily pressures of life, dealing with the demands of children, maintaining a good relationship with her husband, and often working a full time job on top of all that would drive many men to their grave. Women are truly strong in their ability to handle it all.
Why are women so valuable to their family?
1. They provide security
There is something calming to a child to know that mom is there. Men fall apart when their wife is not happy with them. Women give such a sense of calm and security to the home like no one else can.
2. They bring their gift to the family
By this I mean that women are made different than men. That is a good thing. Women have a special gifting that they bring to the home to balance everything out. Without the woman, a huge piece of the puzzle that we call the family is missing. They bring a different perspective on things. They balance out the man in their approach to raising children. Without my wife’s input on many issues that have come up over the years, I would be a pathetically sad case. She causes me to see the big picture, and to understand what I cannot understand on my own.
3. They love without limit
Women have such a way of loving their husband and children without conditions. You don’t have to prove yourself. You are loved just because. My wife has taught me, though I haven’t arrived yet, how to love fully no matter what. She has such an amazing capacity to put up with a lot from me and from the children, yet we know that we are loved. Men tend to be performance oriented. They want results. For the woman, just being there is enough.
4. They bring joy to the home
Women have their bad days. But for the most part they bring joy to the family. They are excited when the kids do well in school. They bring laughter. I have discovered that when my wife isn’t bringing joy to our home that it is usually because of something I did to ruin it. If you are a man reading this and think that your wife isn’t bringing joy to your home, you may want to find out if you have wounded her in such a way that you sucked the life out of her. If so, then do what is necessary to heal that wound. The joy will return.
Women returning to their role
The role of women in the home is not to make sure the house is always clean, though they can help with that. It is not to bow to the wishes of the man whenever he makes a demand. The role of the woman is to be a teammate with her husband in creating a home, and raising great children to function well in society.
How can women get back to their important role in the home?
1. Recognize where they are
Before women can get back to their place in the family, they must recognize that they have stepped back from that role. If you are a woman reading this, you may ask yourself whether or not you have steeped back from or abandoned all together your place in your family.
2. Get involved
Rather than coming up with some strategy on how to fulfill your place in the home, just begin again by being involved. You know what to do. You have the instinct for it. So, go for it. Love your spouse and children. You will make mistakes, but so will they.
3. Seek help
If you are struggling to get back to your position as the woman of the house, then seek out the help of other women who are doing a great job in their home. Take their advice. Watch them. Understand that they did not get to where they are automatically. They had to work hard at it. They had to make a lot of mistakes. But they kept at it, and never gave up.
4. Be content with your role
The valuable role that women play in the home is beyond words. Don’t take it lightly. Don’t think that you are less important. Avoid thinking that you are less valuable to society if you don’t work outside of the home. Our culture has presented us with a false notion that women who are not successful in the corporate world are inferior. Women who put their whole self into their spouse and children are the ones who are changing the world. The saying is true that ‘the hand the rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.’
This article is short and simple. I did not want to go deep with this. My mother and my wife have had such a profound impact on my life. If you are a man reading this, take note of your wife and praise her for her part she plays in your home. As the passage from Proverbs mentions, her value is beyond rubies (Proverbs 31:10). If you are a woman reading this I encourage you to take the steps necessary to either get back to your part in the home or to continue to hang in there and play that important role to your family. Without the woman in the home, the family would be left incomplete.
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