A military deployment can be hard for anyone. When your soldier gets orders with the term, “Active Mobilization”, what is supposed to be just a piece of paper suddenly becomes the screaming images of mass chaos in your mind. A deployment, especially, can be at it’s most terrifying when it’s the first on the list of many to come.
There are a great many things that the military tries to arrange for the family of a deploying solider but, at the same time, there are many things that the military does not tell you about a deployment. As the young spouse of a first time deployed soldier in the United States Army, take it from me, a deployment is a scary reality but it is not the end of the world.
I have compiled a list of items that the military does not tell you about regarding a deployment to better prepare you 1) if this is the first deployment you are facing or 2) to refresh you on what you missed about your last deployment:
Ready, Set, Go.
Chances are, you got word of the infamous “mobilization” orders a month away from your soldier leaving. If you have longer to prepare than, lucky you. That does not happen often. First and foremost, in the wise words of the author, Douglas Adams, DON’T PANIC.
Insurance Coverage
The military will not share details about TriCare insurance. You will have to do research on your insurance coverage all on your own. Usually, soldiers who do not have insurance before a deployment are automatically granted insurance coverage for their dependents (as long as you’re included under their DEERS).
The type of insurance that DEERS dependents are granted is called “TriCare Standard”. There is a deductible and it changes every year and is contingent upon your sponsors rank. You will have to contact your TriCare region to find out how much that deductible is because the military will not provide or research that information for you.
Vacation Time
Vacation time, or “R&R”, in military terms, will not be guaranteed. If your soldier is in the guard and is only supposed to serve a 9 month term, they will not get any vacation R&R. Prepare yourself for your soldier to be gone an extended amount of time. If your soldier is supposed to serve a 12 month term, it will be rumored that they will be allowed R&R but this is never guaranteed. R&R time for a soldier can be rejected by their commander for any reason or absolutely no reason at all.
No Technology
Depending on where your soldier will be deployed, you may have to face lack of communication. Even in our technologically advanced international society, the internet is still not offered in some countries. If that is the case, you could expect a telephone call anywhere from once a week to once a month.
Technology is contingent upon location, a soldiers job title and rank, your soldiers mission status as well as the time zone in which your soldier is in. If there is no communication over electronic devices, you could always expect a letter to be sent through snail mail but that is not guaranteed either. Talk to your soldier and arrange communication outlets prior to deployment.
No Privacy
If you send something through the mail to your soldier, whether it be a letter or package, know that you will not have any privacy. All incoming mail is intercepted to make sure it is not hazardous. That means that your package or letter will be opened and evaluated for safety reasons.
Sexual Deprivation
Something that is definitely not talked about is the fact that you will be sexually deprived for a long period of time while your soldier is away from home. If you’re in a strictly monogamous relationship, this will be a tremendously challenging time for both you and your soldier. If the two of you have an agreed upon, opened relationship, than this is irrelevant.
Prudent Society
On the topic of sexual deprivation, know that you cannot send any pornography to your deployed soldier. It doesn’t matter what country they are being assigned to, the soldiers peers evaluate the contents of their mail so you will (hopefully) not want to embarrass your soldier. Also, consider the fact that your soldier could be disciplined if items of a morally questionable nature are found.
Personal Computers
All is not lost with the sexuality between a deployed soldier and at-home relations. The military cannot (in many cases) go through a soldiers personal computer. Dropbox is a good program tool to transfer discreet files amongst you and your soldier. It can even be password protected.
Soldiers Return
In many instances, the soldier will not be allowed disclose the exact date in which they are going to return home. This will drive you crazy and you will not be able to pry this information out of anyone else. So, don’t try. You must find it in yourself to be happy with an approximate time frame of their return. Accept that some things are out of your control.
Inevitable Changes
If your soldier was very reliant on you before they left for their deployment, it is guaranteed that they will return with a sense of independence. You will notice that your soldier has changed in a manner of ways upon their return home. Some changes could be minor, some could be major. It is important to come to the reality that things will not be the same between you and your soldier. It doesn’t have to be scary for you, it could be exciting if you let it.
Prior Issues
If you were facing relationship issues before the deployment and those issues were not resolved, expect them to not be resolved when the soldier returns. In some regards, the relationship issues could be worse than they were when your soldier left. If you do not get your issues resolved before deployment, expect to have to work harder at resolving them after the return.
Detachment
A major item that the military does not discuss before a deployment or regarding a deployment is the sense of detachment that both parties will experience. No matter how much you stayed in connect during the deployment, you will have to relearn the personality of your soldier upon their return. For many couples, they will go through the period of “dating” all over gain. That uncomfortable feeling you are experiencing, the doubts you seem to be having… Those are just feelings of being detached from your soldier and they are perfectly normal. You will have the opportunity to fall in love all over again and who could resist that…?
Reintegration
When you soldier comes home, no not rush into anything. If either of you are not comfortable with something than respect needs to come into play. Keep the lines of communication opened for what you are feeling. Chances could be that your soldier experienced horrible things during their deployment or they are confused about where they should pick up after they return. Do not rush things. Rushing things can put too much pressure on your soldier and it could even run them off.
Emergencies
Some kind of emergency, while your soldier is away, is bound to happen. You must become reliant upon yourself to handle severe situations without the help of your other half or even others. The car will break down, the fridge will stop working, your hot water heater will break. Nature and life have a tendency to keep throwing bad situations at us. It will seem like everything is happening at once. The most important thing to do during a deployment is, DON’T PANIC.
Conclusion
However hard a deployment is to face, you must keep telling yourself that it is not the end of the world. Because it’s not. You will find yourself taking many deep breathes so you don’t lose your mind.
Deployments tend to bring out everyone’s strengths and weaknesses. You will learn to become independent. You will be challenged. Things and people will change around you. Take some wise advice from a military spouse… Keep breathing, keep your mind set on the horizon, accomplish your goals and do not attend your own pity parties… If you adhere to these simple things, you will come out of a deployment with your soldier in better shape than when you entered it.
Military deployments are unpredictable. You will lose a lot of control over situations and, if you’re like me, that loss of control will very near break your will. No matter, however, because deployments do not last forever. Every day that passes is another day closer to seeing your soldier again. Stay positive and, always, support your soldier.
, What the Military Doesn’t Tell You About Deployment www.ozeldersin.com bitirme tezi,ödev,proje dönem ödevi